Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Stark Raving Thought(s) of the Day

Thought 1:
In regards to my previous posting about German luxury cars and their malfunctioning turn signals -- I have since discovered that the epidemic is not limited to luxury cars of the German variety, but also those of the rest of Europe, Japan, and North America. This means the data actually suggests that the price one pays for a motor vehicle is inversely proportional to the motor vehicle operator's ability to use that motor vehicle's turn signal. My hypothesis is that the ability to use a turn signal in any given motor vehicle must require some form of unspoken financial commitment from its operator, which may be why those operators who commit more financial resources to the motor vehicle itself lack the financial resources required to use that particular motor vehicle's turn signal.

Thought 2:
It's ironic (and somewhat silly) that the week leading up to a wedding, which is supposed to celebrate the relationship between a man and a woman, is often packed with so many things that "must" be done that the man and woman in question are not afforded opportunity to actually relate to one another. Whatever.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

O True Apothecary! Thy Drugs Are Quick

So I've been meaning to go get something I've needed from the pharmacy for a while, but can't get past the awkwardness of actually going there to pick it up. First off, the display is in the back corner of the store, right across from the pharmacy counter. That means there's no discreet way of perusing this particular shelf (and peruse I must seeing as there are maybe a hundred different varieties of this particular product.) (OK, maybe not that many, but still quite a few), and thus the simple act of searching for the right type of this product virtually shouts to everyone in the store, "Hey, look what condition I've got!" At the very least, the in-store pharmacist can pretty much see how long I've been standing there, looking for the right one. Thankfully, he didn't ask if I needed any help choosing one, which would have also shouted, "Yep, I've got this condition and I don't really know what to do about it!" Add to that the already awkward prospect of going to the cashier to pay for it, thus announcing my condition once again to the cashier, as well as anyone else in line behind me.

Today I finally muster up the resolve to go get this item (which for your sake, I will not divulge). I walk past the area twice because there are people in front of it the first time, and wander around the store looking for other things I need (so that I would not only have the one offending item with me at the checkout stand, and would perhaps be able to slide it past the cashier as just another generic item). Turns out the people in line at the pharmacy aren't leaving anytime soon, so I just figure, "Ah what the heck" and just head for the display, look for a short while, and pick out the right type of product, all the while avoiding eye contact with anyone nearby. Satisfied now that I have the item in my hand, as well as some camouflage items, I head to the checkout stand to complete my transaction.

... and promptly run into an old friend from college ...

Now I'm genuinely happy to see my friend because I hadn't seen him in a couple years, and am genuinely happy to discover that he works just a couple blocks away from my office. But the entire time we're talking, I'm trying to nonchalantly hide this item behind my back. Of course, we're standing at the head of an aisle, so everyone walking past the aisle can pretty much see what I've got in my hand. After talking for a while, and doing a decent job at hiding my item whilst talking to my friend, he asks for my business card, so I dig my wallet out of my other pocket and, since I need both hands to do this, try to get the card out while trying to cover the product with my wallet (which I'm pretty sure I did unsuccessfully...).

My friend and I finish our conversation and I head over to the checkout stand, hoping to get out quick. In front of me is an elderly couple, who are taking a looooong while processing their transaction. Meanwhile, more people are getting in line behind me, so I try to hide my item with my other items. Finally the people in front of me finish their transaction and the cashier asks me for my items. Unfortunately one of my elderly co-shoppers decides she doesn't want to leave the counter just yet, and is standing right where I need to put down my items for the cashier. At this point, I just figure there's no point in trying to be discreet and simply plunk my item on the counter right in front of granny there, do my business with the cashier and walk out.

... Ordinarily, for such a small item, I try to be eco-friendly and tell the cashier I don't need a bag. This time, I took the bag ...